Traumatized by Little House on the Prairie (part 1)

Last updated on 19 May 2025

Several years ago now, my husband and daughter decided they were going to watch Little House on the Prairie together. Tracy had fond memories of the show from childhood and thought Eliza might enjoy it. I never watched it when it was on, so I periodically I sit down to watch it with them.

Hoo boy.

There is some serious collective amnesia out there about what this show was like - especially from members of #GenX. Problematic doesn't really begin to cover it. Triggering plotlines. Pointless wagon races. Obvious chronology errors. Casual misogyny. Oiled chests. Unlike my penchant for turning on reruns of The Love Boat, watching Little House soon turned into a verified hate watch. Much to my family's despair, I took to social media to rant about what I observed. Here are some of my earliest posts gathered together.

August 2019
Eliza has discovered Little House on the Prairie on Prime. I wish I could start a live blog as she goes through each episode. She's even sticking with this awful episode where an old lady forces the whole town to pretend she's dead so her family will visit her.

TBF, going off to war and not letting your mother know you're alive for 15 years is a pretty jerky thing to do. All these people are terrible.

October 2019
Blessedly, Eliza usually watches Little House on the Prairie before I get home. Otherwise I'm not sure how I can stop myself from yelling, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME at the tv. For example, this guy is 15 years old.

Mitch Vogell in overalls, faded blue patterned shirt and some sort of hat that makes him look like a newsie. He looks like he's just returned from 'Nam

According to IMDB, Mitch Vogell was 18 when he played this part. This is less believable than the time Laura got bit by a rabid raccoon.

October 2019
Thanks for tuning in to my first attempt at #LittleHouse fanfic. In this episode, Mrs. Oleson runs off with a confidence man pretending to be a fake count from Austria. Nellie refuses to save Willie from drowning because it would ruin her dress, and is then stoned to death by an angry mob. Mr. Oleson falls for a traveling salesman with excellent taste in draperies and lives happily ever after. Fin.

July 2020
I always thought all this talk about Nellie Oleson being terrible was exaggerated. But we just finished the Little House episode where she abused her horse, got hurt, and then PRETENDED TO BE PARALYZED in order to get toys from her parents.

Laura giving Nellie a solid right hook and Nellie falling to the grass. You just know they had a lot of film filming this scene, like Emma Watson and Tom Felton in HP3.

November 2020
Tonight we watched a special Christmas episode of Little House on the Prairie but it must have been from season 20 or something and we're only on season 3. Eliza had so many questions. Who are all these children? Who is that woman? THAT'S LAURA?! Both Mary and Laura are married?! My biggest concern was the extremely implausible flashback of Hester Mae (who?) that took place "during the Civil War." Here she is thanking Santa: THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU, SANTA. Sure, hon.

Child Hester Sue holding a ceramic angel, staring off into the distance like she has brain damage, while the closed captioning blurts THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU!

November 2020
Ya'll. Melissa Gilbert had her first kiss at age 15 with 23 year-old Dean Butler. How do I file a retroactive child endangerment suit?

December 2020
It feels like this episode of Little House on the Prairie has been on for roughly 19 hours. Pa shot himself while hunting with Laura. The only one who can help is a blind agoraphobic backwoodsman whose beard is impeccably groomed. The doctor is somewhere out there (gestures vaguely) so Laura has been leading this blind man through the woods, the two of them stumbling through the forest for hours, while Pa slowly bleeds out. I'm guessing there's roughly 3.5 hours left.

Not content to bleed out from the miniscule bullet wound in his side, Pa has left the sick bed and is now stumbling around out in the woods too. I have no idea why.

Mr. Edwards as Deus ex machina. Sure. Why not.

December 2020
Ok, I might have to start a blog about Little House on the Prairie. I can't even with this mess. Just imagining coming in to the room and telling my 13 year old daughter, "Congratulations! You're engaged!" The writers on this show were insane.

[I honestly could not remember this episode from my vague rant, but it was the one where Mary wanted to get married, and Pa had reservations - but negotiated that the couple wait until she's 15. Pretty sure her fiancé just wandered into the woods and never came back at some point.]

January 2021
I can only assume Michael Landon drunkenly insulted someone in the hair department, resulting in the two worst wigs in the history of television being featured in this one episode of Little House on the Prairie.